Getting Sick Over a Good Book
I've had a tumultuous experience with reading books. Due to quizbowl, I've had an obligation to read a wide array of poetry, plays, and other veins of literature. In that vein, I've read a lot of novels. I'm trying my best not to sound pretentious here, but by a lot, I mean a lot. Since freshman year, I've grinded through such great classics as Jane Austen's Persuasion, Upton Sinclair's The Jungle, even Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace.
Unfortunately, this incessant push to read books drove my joy and desire for reading into the ground. Halfway into sophomore year, reading became more of a chore that I felt obligated to do instead of something I could do for fun. I was forcing myself to read 50 pages a night of books like Vanity Fair, absolutely dreading it and questioning why I was even still reading. I think I got burnt out, but by the time summer hit that year I couldn't keep doing it. Reading was a waste of time when I could just as easily look up the summary to the book online. How could I read for fun when there was no fun in it?
I went like that for about nine months. During this time I only read one or two actual books for fun, instead divesting my time in other things like video games and school. Then, February of junior year, I got a random notion in the back of my head to try reading again. After all, I still had some sort of commitment to myself and quizbowl to read some books. I couldn't become THAT washed up.
Looking at my bookshelf, my eyes fell upon The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. It's about this Japanese man who loses his cat one day and goes looking for it. One thing leads to another, and he ends up meeting a clairvoyant to find the cat, his wife disappears, and he starts accessing this dream world where he can communicate with the people who are missing. The book is really trippy and magical, almost. It's a strange blend of realistic fiction and fantasy that feels really unique and modern. I had bought it a few years before as a book to get to eventually, though I never did. I figured if I wanted to try reading something, it would be as good as anything else. I checked the back cover and found it was about 650 pages long. But I knew I could get through it as long as I stayed motivated.
I got 16 pages in before getting bored and asking myself again why I was trying to read. It felt so fruitless. I was barely into the book And already had lost my motivation to keep going. How could I possibly finish it? I stopped reading it again for about a month and focused my attention elsewhere.
But eventually, the urge got to me again. I had already started the book. I just needed to make the push to keep going. I re-read the first 16 pages, and then I kept going. And going. And going. I quickly figured out I had gotten hooked on the book.
I finished The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle in about three days. I was absolutely blown away by it. I don't know what it was about the book, but it wrapped me in and got me hooked. Starting on a Monday, I went through about 100 pages. Then I proceeded to take a sick day on Tuesday and get through about 350 more pages. By Wednesday, Ray was telling me to put the book away during physics as I tried to get to the end. I was using passing periods to try to go through two or three pages at a time, working towards the book's climactic end. I finished it that night, and thought to myself, 'What have I been doing these past 10 months? How did I tell myself I don't like reading?'
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle reminded me what it was like to get a rush from doing something as simple as reading. I can barely even articulate why I loved that book so much. Something about Murakami's writing style and characters got to me. But whatever it was, it got me to read a long book in about three days, which must have been some sort of record for me. I wasn't under any obligation or self-imposed rule to get through 50 pages a night or whatever, I just read. And it was amazing.
Simply put, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle reinvigorated my joy for reading. I had been burned out, but all I needed was a book that could convince me again that reading was fun and meant to be so. Nowadays, the only reason I don't read is because school and college take all of my time away from it. But if you ever feel like you're burned out from reading and don't gain anything from it, all you have to do is find that one book. It can change everything, both about your outlook with reading and maybe even life.
But of course, that requires reading a book which is becoming harder and harder every day. But if you ever get the chance, I'd highly recommend it.
Unfortunately, this incessant push to read books drove my joy and desire for reading into the ground. Halfway into sophomore year, reading became more of a chore that I felt obligated to do instead of something I could do for fun. I was forcing myself to read 50 pages a night of books like Vanity Fair, absolutely dreading it and questioning why I was even still reading. I think I got burnt out, but by the time summer hit that year I couldn't keep doing it. Reading was a waste of time when I could just as easily look up the summary to the book online. How could I read for fun when there was no fun in it?
I went like that for about nine months. During this time I only read one or two actual books for fun, instead divesting my time in other things like video games and school. Then, February of junior year, I got a random notion in the back of my head to try reading again. After all, I still had some sort of commitment to myself and quizbowl to read some books. I couldn't become THAT washed up.
Looking at my bookshelf, my eyes fell upon The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami. It's about this Japanese man who loses his cat one day and goes looking for it. One thing leads to another, and he ends up meeting a clairvoyant to find the cat, his wife disappears, and he starts accessing this dream world where he can communicate with the people who are missing. The book is really trippy and magical, almost. It's a strange blend of realistic fiction and fantasy that feels really unique and modern. I had bought it a few years before as a book to get to eventually, though I never did. I figured if I wanted to try reading something, it would be as good as anything else. I checked the back cover and found it was about 650 pages long. But I knew I could get through it as long as I stayed motivated.
I got 16 pages in before getting bored and asking myself again why I was trying to read. It felt so fruitless. I was barely into the book And already had lost my motivation to keep going. How could I possibly finish it? I stopped reading it again for about a month and focused my attention elsewhere.
But eventually, the urge got to me again. I had already started the book. I just needed to make the push to keep going. I re-read the first 16 pages, and then I kept going. And going. And going. I quickly figured out I had gotten hooked on the book.
I finished The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle in about three days. I was absolutely blown away by it. I don't know what it was about the book, but it wrapped me in and got me hooked. Starting on a Monday, I went through about 100 pages. Then I proceeded to take a sick day on Tuesday and get through about 350 more pages. By Wednesday, Ray was telling me to put the book away during physics as I tried to get to the end. I was using passing periods to try to go through two or three pages at a time, working towards the book's climactic end. I finished it that night, and thought to myself, 'What have I been doing these past 10 months? How did I tell myself I don't like reading?'
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle reminded me what it was like to get a rush from doing something as simple as reading. I can barely even articulate why I loved that book so much. Something about Murakami's writing style and characters got to me. But whatever it was, it got me to read a long book in about three days, which must have been some sort of record for me. I wasn't under any obligation or self-imposed rule to get through 50 pages a night or whatever, I just read. And it was amazing.
Simply put, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle reinvigorated my joy for reading. I had been burned out, but all I needed was a book that could convince me again that reading was fun and meant to be so. Nowadays, the only reason I don't read is because school and college take all of my time away from it. But if you ever feel like you're burned out from reading and don't gain anything from it, all you have to do is find that one book. It can change everything, both about your outlook with reading and maybe even life.
But of course, that requires reading a book which is becoming harder and harder every day. But if you ever get the chance, I'd highly recommend it.
I don't understand why reading has become so hard for so many people, myself included. At least you have a good excuse I have kind of just stopped. The only book I read recently was Evicted by Mathew Desmond, which I would highly recommend. Finding the motivation is hard, but like you said once you get going it can be very rewarding.
ReplyDeleteI think part of the reason you hate 18th-19th century books is because you read them at the wrong time. To be fair, I've never read Vanity Fair, but I think that a lot of 19th century novels are worth reading (even if Jane Austen is not super intellectual). I'm sorry you had to do that for quizbowl - 19th century literature is probably the worst to have to force yourself through if you're not doing it just for fun. The sentences go on for miles and there are actually 10000 tangents in every sentence.
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